Dear SB friends.. my beloved mother/ dearest life friend of 93 years just passed , I was her caregiver for years and by her side. The pain of loss and finality is so intense .. can't seem to get beyond these feelings and get a grasp of the reality of the truth of what just happened...any words of wisdom/discussion/comfort to help me remember the illusion of it all, from our SB perspectives, during this time are most welcome... thank you in advance! x
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Hi Thia,
Across the US I hold you in my thoughts and am offering you warm hugs. I am sure many here experienced such a milestone as well and do very much know the pain you are feeling. Part of the amazing beauty of being on earth is we get to experience death, the intensity of loss which ultimately imparts a sense of deep meaning to LIFE. I think that it's part of our human experience and there is nothing at all wrong with allowing oneself to deeply and profoundly grieve the changes and the experience. She is your Mom and she has passed. That is both intense and joyous for her. She is free adn for this we can be grateful. This is a natural thing and a process. Be gentle and oh so loving with yourself right now. Surrender to this immense shift in your life. I feel you are in a kind of shock and what you need perhaps in addition any words of comfort or perspective may be just love and gentleness and to be surrounded by friends and family who care and love you. Sleep, eat and rest and take baths. Get lots of hugs and cuddles. Get some healing bodywork or massage. I think such changes can be ALOT and it varies from person to person how they process that.
Take things hour by hour and day by day. The immensity will abate naturally until it feels more comfortable. I feel that when people pass over, their physical body is gone and for that we can feel joy that they are free of the demands that this 3rd density places on us, but yes they are WITH US and want more than anything to be in contact with us for visits. But I also think it's good to recognize not to keep a spirit here because they can worry and delay their crossing. I think that they want us to feel free to move on from any attachments we may have to their physical form - I can think of times when people have had a hard time letting go after a long long greiving period. But that there is nothing wrong with staying connected to them either- and to do it because time does not ultimately exist. So be connected if you wish. I think we only have to make contact and know they are there just in a different kind of form if we want to connect. So, yes they are gone as a human but I think of life as eternal. So greive the changes and also feel joy for the changes. And know that this too shall pass. It's a big experience and allowing yourself the freedom to feel it all is important. Separation is impossible. If ONE is true how could it be any other way?
I love you Thia.
- Mary
Sending you SOOOO much Love, Thia!
This world can be a bewildering place. The experiences overwhelming at times. And the connections we make with one another and the times we've shared can run so deep, that when they feel severed, or taken, they rock us to the core.
Choosing to take the form of a body, makes us so fragile. All the world around us reminding us just how easily we can bruise and break. And how one day, everything we once knew as our life, will transform into something transitioning and new. And while, if aging is impossible to avoid, and death comes to us all, then the truth of an endless transitioning of our form is also as equally true.
Where she has gone, is not far at all. Who she has remembered herself to be knows there is truly no end. And she would want you to know that. The events of her passing were the moments of a story, explaining that It was time to move onward. And to let go. Her time on this planet was complete. A new world and a new life await her. And she is very thankful and grateful for all you have done for her, and even now, continue to do for her. She could not have made it without you.
You were everything to her, in ways she could not express. But will remain eternally grateful for.
For her, there is no suffering, there is no pain, there is no confusion, only her profound Gratitude and Thanks. You are more than mother and daughter in this galactic game. You are sisters along a very long path. A path that travels deep into the heart of us all, that passes along many trials. Difficulties that bring us together. And passages that send us apart.
But, only in illusions. For something so near and dear, can never truly be taken from you. Even if, in places where we stand, places like earth, this here and now, it may seem she is gone. We know the Truth.
Your path and time here are not yet complete. She wants you to pursue your life's passions. She wants you to live! She wants you to be happy! She wants you to Laugh!
Go out and fill the world with Joy! This moment is a transformation for you both. She is alive in ways that we can only imagine. And so, it is time for you, to do the same.
And be alive in only ways that you can imagine! She wants this for you, because for you, The time has come...
We are here for you. And know, through the darkness, for you, for everyone, for all, you are never alone. Never, Ever, Ever alone.
With Deepest Love.
Chance
ohhhhhh.... thank you... thank you and deepest thank you to you both again... every word rings true to my heart.. my sobbing now feels like a polarity of joy and grief.... and profound love. If you don't mind... I may have to share some of these words at her service, they bring me the comfort that I need as I keep putting one foot infront of the other during this difficult dreamtime ...with gratitude.. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
93 years, a very blessed life indeed. Sending love energy to you and your family
Thank you for your Love and Kindness you shared with your Mother, and for Being there for her.
Hi Thia,
I also just lost my mother in October of this year, so I understand your feelings. She was 92. What helped me through this process is knowing my mother is no longer in pain and has reunited with her other selves. What joy she must have felt. You will see your mother again, and be so joyous at your reunion. I remember the words that Doe Scala posted about her son and they were very helpful to me. I will paraphrase. My son had his path and it was his decision on when and how to leave.
We who are still here can’t keep our loved ones from their experience. Their soul and higher self know best. You were a loving daughter and you can always hold that in your heart. Now, I am learning to relate to my mother in a different way. I don't see her in the physical, but I talk to her all the time. Call your mother on the phone in your mind. You will be overjoyed to speak with her and she will be overjoyed to know that you consciously called. This will be the new normal for you until you meet again. Much love.
If I should die,
And you should live,
And time should gurgle on,
And morn should beam,
And noon should burn,
As it has usual done;
If birds should build as early,
And bees as bustling go,–
One might depart at option
Seen in eternal flow!
‘Tis sweet to know that stocks will stand
When we with daisies lie,
That commerce will continue,
And trades as briskly fly.
It make the parting tranquil
And keeps the soul serene,
That Ladies so sprightly
Conduct the pleasing scene!
smiling at the sweet levity of this poem.... my mom was a class act of dignity and grace on her death bed... wanting her pearl /rhinestone earrings and a little lipstick and asking how everyone else was doing... truly a Lady to the end..Thanks Jason! xo
Thank you Carolyn, I love this idea! Im calling her right now : ) I had no problem with acceptance and surrender that it was her time.. she was suffering in her old bones...and it couldn't have been a more conpletely loving beautiful end of life at home.. the deep pain of loss of her physical presence is what's so weird....her not being here to hug and hold and "see" "hear" smell"... is the big hole and void.. You are so right.. I will develop a new way of being with her now.... and I will start to try or allow that to unfold. So grateful for your thoughts! xo
Carolyn Tomlinson said:
Thanks so much Cherly....so true..and I so appreciate all the love sent my way..thank you !!.xo
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